Vikings

One time I farted so hard an army of vikings showed up ready for war.

2008 Elections

One time I farted so hard John McCain chose me to be his Vice Presidential running mate.

Fumigation

One time I farted so hard I didn't get a mosquito bite for three and a half years.

Musical Fusion

One time I farted so hard the jazz band at the club began playing a hoe down.

Commerce

One time I farted so hard I shot my wallet through a Macy's store window, destroying three mannequins and a make-up counter clerk.

Through Rain, Sleet or Snow

One time I farted so hard I raised the dead and they terrorized my town for weeks until most of them got jobs at the post office.

Culicidae

One time I farted so hard as a mosquito was biting me that it was sucked into my blood stream.

Most Important Meal of the Day

One time I farted so hard it demulsified the milk in my cereal. The lipids coalesced on my Fruit Loops and didn't taste very good. Until I deep fried them, that is.

Nostradamus

One time I farted so hard I saw the future—and boy did the future smell.

Just Rewards

One time I farted so hard a guy in a parking lot gave me a trophy.