Jesus

One time I farted so hard Jesus cried.

Trajectory

One time I farted so hard I woke up on my neighbor's garage roof.

Coma

One time I farted so hard I awoke from a coma.

Government

One time I farted so hard that an amendment was passed by Congress and ratified by the states to make it unconstitutional for me to fart again.

Zombies

One time I farted so hard I brought the dead back to life, and then killed them again.

Office Equipment

One time I farted so hard the force shredded my ass cheeks, which was fortuitous since I had some confidential information for work tattooed there.

Geology

One time, I farted so hard I transformed an entire coal mine into a diamond mine.

Physics

One time I farted so hard Stephen Hawking thought another Big Bang had occurred.

WMDs

One time I farted so hard the United Nations sent inspectors to my house to search for weapons of mass destruction.

Botany

One time I farted so hard I collapsed a greenhouse.

Happy Holidays

When I was a wee one, I farted so hard while suckling that it shot my wet nurse's other nipple across the room where it flipped around in flight and stuck to the picture window like a suction cup. So we hung a candy cane on it. It was the best Christmas ever!

Social Networking

One time I farted so hard that people wrote about it on their Facebook Walls.

New Life

One time I farted so hard my wife gave premature birth.

Religion

One time I farted so hard it was like God farted.

Technology

One time I farted so hard it got indexed by Google.

Dentistry

One time I farted so hard I lost a filling.

Passing Time in America

About a hundred years ago, I farted so hard the Cubs won the World Series.

The Wright Brothers

One time, I farted so hard my ear lobes flapped so much I took flight and crashed into a statue of Merle Haggard.